The intention of these words is of a therapeutic nature. The title of this blog is called PRO-LIFE. For many people this term is associated with a woman who is in the valley of decision when faced with an unplanned pregnancy. Today I dare to stretch the perspective to lean itself to that of a woman faced with an unplanned pregnancy that comes from deep within and does not lead to the birth of a physical child but of that of a spiritual self re-birthing. I'm talking about suicide. For many years it has been a demon that I have had to manage from a deep dark place within my own heart, mind and soul. As a younger woman, I attempted suicide with pills. I wrote my obituary, and I planned the event as if it were a birthday party. Obviously I was unsuccessful. Often times, the thoughts come when I am feeling the most disempowered. Thank God I have a gamut of resources which support me in managing these thoughts and feelings when they occur. I write these words in a spirit of candor and vulnerability. Perhaps you are someone who has thought of such an act, and are searching for a way to stay put. Perhaps, you cannot tell anyone as I so boldly profess. Perhaps, you have found this page as an act of divine intervention. Whatever the method, I pray that these words can assist you because they are assisting me. I recognize that I have many things to be grateful about today. No matter how great or how small, I know that my life has a purpose. I did not race against a billion other sperm cells to meet the egg just to end it all. That journey would have been for naught. I write these words as a testament of my strength, endurance, will power and spiritual supplications. There is a greater experience awaiting my arrival, and if I end it all too soon then I will never get to experience the joy. I'm holding on to life and I encourage you to do the same. It is the most precious gift from the Creator of all living things.
Peace, Love & Life
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